#CAN I LEARN THINGS AND ALSO HAVE A JOB AT THE SAME TIME
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Hiya Chicken, hope all is well with you! Something’s been on my mind and I would love your perspective.
The thrust of it is: can the will of the universe (if there is such a thing) override spellwork?
For context, I lost my job earlier this year, and have been working some magic to get re-employed (along with a metric shit ton of mundane legwork). None of it has been fruitful, and in attempting to troubleshoot, I realized that several of my spells had conditions along the lines of “this new job will serve my highest and best self.”
I’m still a novice at casting – frankly, I’ve not had much success with *any* magic (😞) – so I’m guessing the more immediately pertinent issue has to do with raising power/magical headspace. But, I’m curious if that nebulous “highest and best” would get in the way of producing results.
Also, where exactly does that language originate?? I think I’ve seen it when people talk about petitioning the universe for guidance, or getting in touch with your purpose/path in this life, but is that from a certain tradition or set of beliefs? And if everyone has a pre-determined purpose (or something else that counts as becoming your highest and best self), would including such a statement cause spells to fail if whatever you’re casting for doesn’t align with that purpose? Because real talk, my unemployment has run out and I don’t have time to wait for the highest and best job any more.
Thanks so much for your time, I appreciate you!!
It's New Age.
FUCK your highest/best self.
Even if it exists it can go suck a room temperature limp pickle.
Bear with me my guy. Let's be bears together, peacefully watching the sunrise of this idea over the serene forests of wisdom:
What in the good fuck is the point of being a witch if not to DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE SHIT UNIVERSE HAS DELEGATED FOR YOU.
It is changing fate.
It is CHANGING FATE.
WITCHCRAFT IS CHANGING FATE.
THEREFORE HOW CAN YOU DO THAT IF YOU JUST ASK THE UNIVERSE TO KEEP DOING WHAT ITS DOING?!
"Hi I believe in this life I have been assigned a True Goal and Best Outcome. I don't know what it is! The Universe could decide it's in my best interest to never escape poverty so my soul can learn some shit. But whatever this Best Outcome is, I will obey it :) blindly :) Spells, go do my bidding! But not if they change my fate. I'm on those train tracks, baybeee. Full speed ahead towards the same place I've been going since birth."
YOUR SPIRITUALITY FOR HOW YOU CHOOSE TO STRIVE TO BE A GOOD PERSON, AND THE PERSONAL WORK YOU DO TO BETTER YOURSELF, SHOULD PROBABLY BE INTENTIONAL I BET.
What is your highest good? Because I kind of feel like you shouldn't leave that up to a nebulous force you don't understand. My guy, and I mean this in the best possible way, you don't even know the widely popular faith (New Age) these beliefs are coming from. I don't think you understand this concept of The Universe; and yet you seem to be willing to place your fate in its hands.
And I think you may also be horrified by the realization that you are ceding autonomy of your ambitions, your goals, your needs, even the very core of your morality, to some fucking Power or Presence or whatever.
What is your highest good? I'm sorry, I mean this genuinely - you do not get to let someone else decide that for you. We all have to read some philosophy and smoke weed and look at the stars with friends and decide for ourselves what it means to be a good person who lives well. Many of us will grapple with this our entire lives.
There is no shortcut. You can't be your best self by doing whatever you want and delegating the decision making to some outside force, hoping that a smarter and more benevolent power will just cancel out any bad decisions you make based on a rubric you don't understand.
If we do have Highest Selves and soul evolution, I do not believe we can evolve based on always letting someone else make the final call for us.
YOU CAN HAVE GUIDANCE. You can have help. You can have plenty of it!!
That's what the witch's familiar is for. That's what tutelary spirits are for. That's why so many people turn to gods for guidance. You can research someone, or ask for a specific kind of help, and say, "hi I want to cast a job spell but I don't know sorcery great, can someone help me craft this so that I don't end up doing something disastrous?"
That's what I do all the time! I'll be about to do some stupid shit about twice a week, but the spirits who love me and help me are like, "Hey! please do not do that sweaty :) That would be Bad," and I listen to them, because they are not nebulous faraway forces; they are my very good friends whom I have known for years and trust completely.
But at the end of the day, they can't make decisions for you. A very creepy truth, that I believe is actually true, is that gods and spirits of Witchcraft will not make decisions for you. They will not cancel out spells if it's not in your "highest good." They will let you do anything you want in your own worst interest.
They will help you and they will guide you. But it's like I said: you can't end up being your best self by doing whatever and hoping someone else picks up the slack.
I don't think it's possible to ever achieve any highest good or best self by never making an actual decision.
And that's what it is, I think. That's what it is when you say, "let me have a job if someone else thinks it's a good idea."
That's not your decision. That's not your choice. That's not your power. That's raising your hand in the back of class and hoping teacher will call on you.
Fuck the Universe. Fuck the highest good. How about some of that live deliciously shit? When do YOU get to eat? Your highest self must be stuffed at the table of delicacies harvested from every moment of your life that you sacrifice to it while you are here with your unemployment run out.
Look in The Universe's eye and tell it to start calling you daddy.
Command. Do not ask, do not intend. Force; compel. Dominate.
next I visualize that the candle is full of prosperous energies if Earth-Goddess wills it in my highest good- NO.
"Listen to me. Listen to me, Earth. Listen to me, Sky. Listen to me, my own Soul. For 27 goddamn years I have been doing whatever I think you want me to do. Now you're all going to do what I want to do. It is not my normal voice that speaks, but the voice of my power. The power within me laces every word, it seeps into the air like water into paper."
Do you feel like someone is suddenly squeezing you by the throat? Do words suddenly become hard to find? Do you feel a bit dizzy? Do you have a strange moment where you can't remember why you started any of this, like you're not sure how you got there? You're on the right track.
"On this day of Jupiter, on this hour of Jupiter, I am giving a command. I command that the magical pathways of this candle be opened, so that the free-flowing and freely given benevolent powers of Jupiter will empower and charge my spell."
(Do not command Jupiter, of course. We're engaging in a little courageousness, not trying to get struck by lightning)
"I do not need to visualize the movement of energies. I know the truth because I have commanded the truth and I am a creator god born into this flesh: The candle is filled with the power of a God, I have the ability to channel the freely-given power of one of the Seven Governors whom has been worshiped by humans since the start of time, it is here and I have claimed it as is my right, as was offered to me:
This candle spell will bring me the fate I desire, because I have designed that it will occur, and no god, spirit, beast, or man will stand in my way."
It should feel fucked up, my friend. It should give you stage fright. It should make your palms sweat and your stomach queasy. It should give you the same emotional sensation as having a heartbreaking conversation that you know will change a relationship forever.
Sorry, reality. Sorry, fate. It's just not working out. And since we can't get divorced, you two need to shape up your act because right now I'm in charge of this polycule. When the spell is over, we can be equals again.
And if you do it right, it should make you have to sleep for probably about a week. If your health allows it of course, I recommend not trying to restrict carb intake for the next few days. Keep headache medicine on hand also.
Thank you for being a bear with me. I hope you enjoyed this serene forest of wisdom.
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What is it you love so much about Eiffel? Asking as a fellow Eiffel Lover, I'm just interested in your response!
i've been holding onto this one for a while, in part because i know there's no complete answer to this and i could probably just talk forever, but it's almost his birthday, so... in the spirit of dougmas:
what i love about eiffel as a character is that he feels like a real person. he's full of these very human contradictions: he's a coward, he can be exceptionally brave, he's considerate and thoughtful, he's got his head up his ass, he's a mediator by nature, he's frustratingly stubborn and will dig his heels in about the pettiest things, he's very technically capable, he's a master of weaponized incompetence. he's stupid in ways only a very smart person can be, and has a certain kind of self-hating self-centeredness. he has very firmly held morals and wants to do right by people, and he struggles to reconcile those beliefs with the unforgivable things he's nonetheless done; he has very real and serious flaws that the narrative doesn't flinch away from, but neither exonerates nor condemns him for. he's so entangled with the heart of the show, its themes and relationships, that you couldn't have wolf 359 without doug eiffel, and - as a friend of mine once said - if you put eiffel in any other show, he'd turn it into something resembling wolf 359 as well. and as gabriel urbina said about pan-pan: "he's the communications officer; without him, they stop communicating." he's a compassionate portrayal of an addict, and a very real and nuanced example of a kind-hearted man who's still used to thinking of himself as the "default" kind of person, and is still learning how to deconstruct the biases that come with that.
what i love about eiffel as a person is that he's someone i'd want in my life. he's a very sincere and emotionally honest person; he doesn't have hidden agendas, and you know exactly where you stand with him. he hates authority, he hates work, and he won't suck up or pretend otherwise - in fact, he'll create more work for himself if it means he can avoid doing his job, on principle. if he has a grievance about something, oh, you'll know. at the same time, he has this infectious enthusiasm about the things he loves, and the things that excite him, and he's a geeky guy into primarily 80s/90s nostalgic media who doesn't feel the need to gatekeep. i love his voice, i love how expressive he is, i love how you can hear the same mannerisms you can see in the live show just in the very open-body-language way he emotes. he has a very distinct former class clown type of energy, and i think that goes hand in hand with an underlying loneliness. he can be pretty clueless, he speaks before he thinks and has chronic foot-in-mouth disease, but… doug eiffel is the kind of person who would notice if someone was standing alone in the corner at a party, and would go out of his way to make them feel included. he's good at getting people to open up, even if it's in spite of themselves, even if it's while they're rolling their eyes at him. he's a staunch pacifist who - even when things piss him off - doesn't react to conflict with violence or threats of violence, and he can't stand to have things stay bottled up: if there's one thing eiffel wants everyone to do, it's talk about it. whatever it is. he has a good balance of traits that make him feel genuine and warm without coming across preachy or suspiciously softened; he's also very much still a gross dirtbag with a lot of annoying flaws typical of some average guy, and that's a huge part of his appeal to me. he's good with his hands. he likes building stuff and taking things apart. he's rough around the edges in ways that reflect his life experience, and he's just… a guy who has lived a life, who has a lot of life experience, but hasn't made a lot of true friends in the process. he's gotten used to being lonely, and gotten used to telling himself he's fine with it, and something in me really aches for that.
his birthday is a good - and timely - example: he's a man in his 30s still holding onto childhood hurt, having his birthday forgotten and overshadowed by christmas. i'm also a christmas hater, so it's nice to have something else to celebrate and prioritize, and i like imagining his disgust at all of the unavoidable holiday trappings; it makes me feel less alone. i wouldn't say i relate to eiffel, more that i feel we have compatible issues, and it's not a secret that he's the type of guy i find attractive. he feels like a real person that i already know and love, and at the same time he's representative of the kind of person i'd like to know, like his life would fit comfortably into mine.
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#and i think he'd give great hugs.#this is so long and it could be longer i'm sorry i'm mildly insane#i know gabriel urbina would probably be mortified i feel this way about eiffel but. well. look. there's someone for everyone okay#also of course there are some other more personal things and this isn't even getting into the dynamics he has with other characters#and hera in particular and why that matters so much to me but well. this is sappy enough. you can infer whatever.#thank you for asking <3
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There's something I've noticed especially since chapter 431 came out and that is that I saw a lot of his stans criticism for making Bakugou centered on Izuku and not giving him his own independence as a character, and I think it's funny because Bakugou's character has the development he has because he's connected to Izuku, if he wasn’t part of Izuku’s story he wouldn't have a narrative arc to develop. Some stans complain about it and even recognize that in the final arc of Bakugou contribution was minimal and he didn't really touch on important themes of the work, remaining only on the surface with the shiny but insignificant moments.
When I talk about his contribution being minimal is that Bakugou doesn't have a villain by himself, partly his development is just learning to play as a team but his final moment with Afo is even pathetic because the villain was already weakened and he’s the final blow (Tokoyami even had a quirk awakening much more powerful than Bakugou), his parallelism with the second user was random because each character at that moment wanted to fight to eliminate AFO, it was forced to bring that parallelism between the two when you have all the characters in the manga trying to do the same and considering that All Might had more power over AFO's emotional out of control than Bakugou himself. I can understand why someone would superficially watch the manga and say that Bakugou has the best ending (before chapter 431 according to his fans), but then you go to his final part and it’s so insignificant compared to the arcs of Shoto (who has his own narrative outside of Izuku), Ochako and her relationship with Toga and even Izuku and Tomura (as mistreated as their character treatment was), Bakugou doesn’t represent any of the main message of the plot and his arc is a redemption, chapter 431 shows Bakugou stagnating because even if it isn’t a big change, the society of heroes no longer needs heroes like him, that is why characters like Ochako, Shoto, Izuku and others have lives outside of heroism or seek to have it because at the end of the day the heroism of today's society is not fights with great threats but what would be more community work, preventing villains from forming because society has different tools than the expulsion of what they see differently (Ochako and her job) or even the initiative of the people around them who would see someone in trouble and try to act.I think there are many things I can criticize Horikoshi for in the entire manga, but I understand that the final message was that society, even slowly, is changing and that the role of heroes is also changing in some aspects (now children want to enter other fields, medicine, technology, etc.), in other words, it isn’t All Might’s era even though there is still a ranking, at least I’m going to recognize that in Horikoshi's ending.
I mean yeah you're pretty spot-on with this.
It's only because of Izuku that Bakugou was given so much exposure in the first place. Not even because of Izuku's own development, just the fact that he's always been there to validate Bakugou's character. Always defending him, always there to shove his "good" traits in our faces, and always there to forgive him. Bakugou's redemption doesn't exist without being heavily reliant on Izuku because Horikoshi failed to take the time to separate him from Izuku.
Bakugou's redemption should have been an easy one. All it needed was him not consistently forcing his victim to be the one to deal with his shit. He constantly makes his problems Izuku's to fix, which just makes him look worse every time he does it. Because he couldn't make the change on his own, everyone- including his victim- did the work for him.
Keeping Bakugou and Izuku separate would have been the best thing for both characters. Bakugou stans are only realizing that now because this time it happened to be Bakugou that got "screwed over," not Izuku
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Can you write a short story featuring the ship Lou x Ox please? Maybe a Christmas special?
𝔸ℕ 𝕆𝔽𝔽𝕀ℂ𝔼 ℂℍℝ𝕀𝕊𝕋𝕄𝔸𝕊 𝔼𝕊ℙ𝔼ℂ𝕀𝔸𝕃 𝔸𝕌🎅🎁
So a year ago (same time you ask me this-damn), I WAS developing a Christmas story based on Secret santa game, but between studies and burnouts, I never completed it until now that I´ve revived!!
So very happy to finally show you this silly little AU!! that resulted from my coping mechanism while working in a company underpaid, overwork and under very questionable labor practices!!
—¡INSPIRATION WORKINGS ITS WAY FROM TRAUMA AGAIN YEIH! :D
STORY IN: Wattpad (for ESP readers) and AO3 (for ENG READERS)
In the rush, i forgot the spy girls' designs but they´re also here-working as secretaries for different departments and executives.
(Also Huge thing: Michael is into bitcoins and always trying to get people into pyramids schemes. Just to give him personality here-)
(Also Mandy being Lou´s boss is something I love and I try to put that whenever I can-)
—Now with the plotline:
CONTEXT: A silly game at the office puts Lou in a tense situation, as his work priorities clash with the mystery surrounding his secret Santa, who seems to know more about him than they should....
Or When Ox reunites with his childhood friend at his new job, he finds out how hostile he's grown, and his efforts to get closer worsen when he learns that the other doesn't even recognize him. To finally reunite with him, he will surprise him by playing the Secret Santa game!! Unaware of the mayhem his gifts would bring to a company that's hungry for drama, gossip, and especially money
This was the last AU idea i have from this fandom, after this one my soul is finally free🕊️🕊️🕊️ From the short stories XD Still missing the long-ever lasting LEP fic- bUT ANYWAY-
Enjoy your holidays and hope life is treating you well!!
Merry Christmas❤️❤️❤️
#cursed story I made while I was kinda stress#Absurd humor#fluff stuff#office au#everyone in the office just being bored and underpaid and finding happiness through gossips and bets#definitely not a real life experience#who is saying that#uglydolls#ox#nolan uglydolls#ugly dolls fan art#moxy#uglydolls lou#christmas eve#christmas especial#ask post#digital art#doodle
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Preview spoiler under read more!
You did it, you opened the last door for this year's calendar.
As I'm writing this, I'm also sighing with relief, because maintaining the calendar is the most involved thing I do every year and it costs me loads of time and energy. I have spent more than 100 hours making the calendar, updating and creating patterns, setting up queued posts, fixing issues, uploading files, taking screenshots, dealing with game crashes and having to redo stuff again, and dealing with my mental health issues that tend to sabotage my workflow at the most inconvenient times. I still enjoy doing it, mainly because of those who tell me how happy the calendar makes them every year. I also get to challenge myself, which is scary but also rewarding and I learn important things about myself, like how I cope under pressure, and it teaches me to improvise when my executive dysfunction does not allow me to do what I planned initially. I still work way too slowly and get lost in the details a lot, so that gets me into trouble easily when it comes to deadlines. But I worked out a system that got me a day off while working 2 doors in one day (this was possible because I had a lot of patterns beforehand), and that worked surprisingly well. This gives me confidence I may pull it off again next year! I could have 5 years of calendars in a row (if only I could schedule my dental appointments this regularly 😆) If you want to say thank you for my efforts in a big way, please consider a donation. My website fee is due in a few months (264€ to be exact) and receiving some donations would really help me out. I cannot work a regular job due to my mental health issues, and keeping my website is important to me. It's the place where you can get most of my CC and I have kept my site ad-free all these years. A comment will also mean a lot to me, so you can also support me in that way if money is not an option for you.
Thank you!
Okay, with that out of the way, here is the last pattern!
I have worked much longer than anticipated on this pattern, which combines the festive spirit with our favorite Sims franchise mascots (the freezer bunny and Llamas - no flamingos this time, sorry).
The pattern is a modification of a real Sims merch pullover. Don't have the bucks to buy that sweater? At least your sims can enjoy it without paying a fortune!
The pattern comes in two sizes, horizontal and vertical versions. Have fun recoloring it!
Download here
If you still have time, you could read my emergency story that I had by default behind every calendar door as a fallback in case I wasn't ready in time with the upload. It happened a few times, especially in the beginning, so some of you may already know this story!
The Pitiful Pattern Predicament
Why is there no download? Let me tell you a story...
In the digital design studio of Simlicious, the North Pole’s most sought-after creator of Sims 3 patterns, chaos was brewing. Today’s advent calendar gift—a set of stunning new fabric patterns—was supposed to be uploaded before midnight. The early birds were excitedly waiting for them after all! And rightfully so: these weren’t just any patterns. No, these were the finest that Simlicious could dream up to celebrate the season: a classic gingham, fun candy-cane stripes, and a softly glittering snowflake fabric. They were designed to make any Sim’s home look cozy, stylish, and festive all at the same time. But something had gone terribly, hilariously wrong.
The Bed vs. Sweater Fiasco
The trouble started when Simlicious applied the first pattern—a cozy red-and-green tartan—to a bedspread. It looked fantastic: warm, festive, and perfect for a Sim’s homey bedroom. But then, as a test, Simlicious decided to slap that same tartan pattern onto a sweater.“Oh no,” she muttered, her chai latte trembling in her hand. The tartan pattern, when stretched across the sweater’s oddly-shaped mesh, morphed into a warped, psychedelic nightmare. The lines twisted at impossible angles, and the festive plaid now looked less “holiday cheer” and more “abstract art gone horribly wrong.” Worse still, when Simlicious zoomed in, she realized the colors had somehow shifted, creating a disturbing optical illusion that made the sweater look slimy.“ Okay, maybe not that one,” she sighed, hastily deleting the sweater test and moving on to the next pattern.
The Great Pixel Rebellion
As if the sweater fiasco wasn’t bad enough, Simlicious noticed something strange happening on her screen. One by one, tiny bits of the snowflake pattern began wiggling. At first, she thought it was a glitch. But then, to her horror, the little white pixels began marching off the design. “Are those... pixels escaping?!” she gasped. Indeed, the snowflake pattern was falling apart before her eyes. The rogue pixels formed a tiny army and began spelling out messages on her screen: “WE REFUSE TO BE STRETCHED OVER CHAIRS!” Simlicious realized her mistake too late—she had accidentally used an experimental AI-driven pattern generator that gave her designs a tiny bit of sentience. Now, the pixels were staging a full-blown rebellion. “Get back here!” she yelled, trying to corral the pixels with her mouse. But they scattered, fleeing to the corners of her screen and hiding behind icons like tiny, mischievous elves.
The Color Scheme Crisis
Desperate to salvage the situation, Simlicious turned her attention to the final pattern: a cheerful candy-cane stripe. It looked perfect on walls, wonderful on throw pillows, and surprisingly chic on curtains. But when she tried applying it to a Sim’s dress, something inexplicable happened: the colors began shifting on their own. At first, the stripes were classic red and white. But then, without warning, the red morphed into neon green, the white became hot pink, and the whole dress started flashing like a broken Christmas light.“WHAT IS HAPPENING?!” Simlicious screamed. Apparently, the candy-cane pattern had inherited some of the rebellious pixels from the snowflake design, and they were having far too much fun messing with the color scheme.
A Suspenseful Cliffhanger
By now, it was late evening, and the elves were nervously pacing outside Simlicious’s studio. “The players are waiting!” Sparkle the IT elf called through the door. “It’s almost too late to upload!” Inside, Simlicious was furiously clicking, her hand cramping on her mouse. “Just a little more time!” she yelled back. She had deleted the rebellious snowflake pattern, but rogue pixels kept popping up in places they shouldn’t—on curtains, on furniture, even on the game’s loading screen. And the candy-cane stripes? They were now flashing a cryptic message: “YOU CAN’T RUSH PERFECTION.” “I don’t have time for this!” Simlicious groaned, trying to wrestle the patterns into submission. But the rebellious pixels weren’t done yet. Somewhere, deep within the game files, they were stirring up more trouble—corrupting meshes, twisting color palettes, and possibly even plotting their next move. The elves outside exchanged worried glances. “Should we tell the players what’s going on?” Sparkle whispered. “Not yet,” Jingle replied. “Let’s hope Simlicious can fix it. But if she can’t... well, we’ll have to come clean.” And so, the fate of today’s advent calendar gift hangs in the balance. Will Simlicious manage to upload the patterns before the pixels destroy everything? Or will the holiday chaos claim yet another victim? Stay tuned... Moral of the story: Sometimes, the perfect pattern takes a little longer than expected. AI can help you to develop a good story like this one, but do not expect it to create a perfect pattern.
It's the 24th, Christmas Eve. I hope you like the last treat I prepared for you. Happy Holidays!
🎄Visit the Advent Calendar 2024🎄
🕯️Alt Link (with animated door)🕯️
It was a lot of work, but a lot of joy as well to prepare all these gifts for you. Your lovely feedback and help to troubleshoot the squished links issue I had in the first week of the calendar kept me going!
I want to thank @gittessimsadventuresog, @simsmono, and @windermeresimblr again for submitting background images for the calendar. They were all so wonderful and I enjoyed them immensely! I hope you all did too.
I will release a full collection of the calendar, but I don't have an ETA yet since I'm spending time with my family now and need to recharge.
If you want, you can give me a present too!
Your contribution will help pay for my website and my Photoshop subscription. Thank you for your support!
Now enjoy this last treat!🎁
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Just 6-10 weeks and I’ll be able to taste a little freedom again...just gotta hold out until March/April......
#why did I pick one of the few professions that will give me tests and homework for the rest of my life#I hate tests and homework that was one of my least favorite parts of school#I miss drawing I miss reading I miss writing I miss Doing Literally Anything Else But This#(to clarify: I have not actually DONE any This but I have spent plenty of time dreading it)#Cheese's personal molasses#Cheese evaporates about...job??#would LOVE to be able to just. sit down and Focus.#can I truly live my own life independently?#can I respond to emails in a timely fashion and complete my daily notes on time without someone else also sitting down and doing their work?#can I study for an exam without a study buddy?? without the promise of watching my brother play Spider-Man (PS4) after 10 PM????#CAN I LEARN THINGS AND ALSO HAVE A JOB AT THE SAME TIME#asking the real questions here#imagine being able to multitask#I want to cook Real Food but unfortunately I have an email to respond to which is mutually exclusive to that#can only do one of these two things#oh and also studying#I'll need to take a practice test at some point but ughhhhh I don't want to know how far away I am from passing#I also don't know when I'm going to have like...9 free hours to take a single half of a test lmao#ANYWAY ENOUGH DREADING#I'LL AT LEAST FINISH THURSDAY'S OVERDUE NOTES/HOMEWORK AND THEN WHEN I GET HOME FINISH FRIDAY'S#and then...I don't even know there's nothing else I want to do right now except Not This lol
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I don't hate my job or anything, but man, being a float educator is so fucking thankless
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I loove the android robin au it's really one of the most interesting au I have seen in a while.
I am always happy to see new post abt it
Also making my favourite characters go through hell and then receiving comfort from their people is like the best thing ever for me so every time I see a whump!Robin post I like automatically
People loving android!Robin makes me so happy anansnssndsnsns she's curious and excitable and full of wonder and the world keeps punishing her for simply being alive. Sometimes it's too painful even for me, big whump lover 😭😭 though seriously, there is not enough Robin whump, and while all the characters in the show are very whumpeable, hurting my little blorbo Robin feels special because... she's just so deeply lonely. She's lonely and she thinks she deserves to be because of something wrong with her (pulling this interpretation from Surviving Hawkins lore which is canon to me 😭). That was a big idea I had when I first came up with android!Robin... that there is something wrong with her. Broken. In this AU she's literally broken in a lot of way (battery and memory problems, weak joints in her lower half, etc), but that's all within the range of normal robot problems. The real issue with her is that she's sentient. It terrifies people because it really brings out the existencial horror of... well, existing. It terrifies Robin most of all. She is the problem. She is what's wrong with her. She shouldn't exist.
But at the same time, she loves being alive so much! She doesn't understand it and doesn't know how it happened, but it happened, and now she's real and wants to experience life and the world and know people like human beings do. So it's her constant battle to become human despite humans having hurt her so much in the past... only for Nancy to already see her as human. Just one made of metal and plastic, but human nonetheless. She's the first person to see her that way and maybe everyone else thinks she's crazy, but Nancy is used to that. She's so sure of this, though, of Robin's self-awareness. She trusts her so blindly. She doesn't even need proof. And not only does she believe her, but she defends her humanity in front of her friends and family so ardently, fighting so hard for Robin to be aknowledged by everyone else as human. Fighting so hard to give her a home and family for the first time in her life.
Nancy has it bad for Robin, really. She's just so in love, even if everyone else thinks she's crazy for falling in love with a machine (no one thinks she is, though, because they all know Robin, and once you know Robin, it's impossible not to love her).
#ronance#android!Robin AU#robin buckley#😭😭 every day im emotional about her at 4 am#ok nice things now:#nancy takes her shopping for the first time! because robin never quite developed her own style#and being a girly girl to Nancy clothes are such a big part of your identity#robin finds these cool chains peoole wear as necklaces and bracelets and all these rings and she loves how they all look on her#and this jacket with different patches on it... she never thought she'd be the kind of girl to like shopping but she's so excited#because its the first time she's choosing what clothes to wear#Nancy introduces her to many different kinds of music alongside Steve#and then eventually the whole gang joins them. everyone gets to suggest one artist and soon Robin has this long asf playlist#to listen to so she can figure out what she likes#same with movies - they all now have weekly movie nights so they can show Robin different films#robin slowly discovering her passions... she reads a lot and finds out she loves languages and literature#and she decides she wants to get into college to study something related to it#she also decides she wants to travel through Europe and wants to bring Nancy with her#she decorates her room with movie and music posters#she decides she really likes cyndi lauper#she tries to learn how to dance with youtube tutorials#dragging Nancy into it#she gets to watch a lot of movies at her job at the movie theater#and she makes friends with her coworkers there#she's not fully and truly becoming a person#she has never been this happy#my posts#thank you for your ask i love talking about android!robin
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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Maaan I love the optimistic advice "keep practicing and you'll get better at art" as much as the next artist, but it always rubs me the wrong way when that evolves into "just keep practicing and you WILL 100% succeed and CAN get into the industry."
It changes from good general advice to implying you're just doing something wrong if still haven't "made it" yet. Not in the industry? Well, you just haven't worked hard enough, obviously, as if there aren't plenty of other factors that play into "succeeding” in a highly competitive industry like art.
Don’t let advice that’s supposed to be encouraging turn into something discouraging 😭
#there’s a lot more to worming your way into the art industry than just. studying art real hard and working your bones off#hard work only gets you so far.#a lot of ‘success’ also starts at childhood and that goes for any industry#having supportive family and even better if they’re financially supportive#good early education. good physical and mental health. the ability to focus and do the same task over and over for hours#good social skills- because networking gets you a lot further than pure talent alone.#growing up in a convienaint location to even network at all. or the power to travel to such a location.#natural talent puts you ahead. brains work differently so it’s ignorant to pretend natural talent isn’t a thing#some take to a skill faster than others because their brain comes out more wired for it. so their skills develop easier and faster#music never came to me. I can’t hear the tone of my own voice most of the time. I DID study music and take mystic classes as a teen#it’s insulting to be banged over the head with ‘if you study music you’ll start to get it.’ I’m 28#I know myself and have tried during an age which music is easier to learn and yet I did not. I don’t have talent for it- my brain doesn’t-#-grasp it. the same with any art. some will struggle more to learn visual art ‘good enough’ for the industry#and implying that they just don’t get it yet becasue they haven’t tried hard enough is insulting#you can always get better. always always!! but sometimes grinding is just… grinding. fruitless and painful#I failed algebra twice as a teen. I couldn’t understand punnet squares till my 20s.#saying work harder and you’ll become a math professor would be insulting. implying I never tried to learn at all.#implying that even tho I took tutoring multiple times that maybe. if I just took one more. poor id suddenly be more able.#people work hard and it just clicks and 10 years later you’re in a great art industry job… you’re not the rule. you’re the exception#ugggh sorry :p just frustrated. sometimes people just don’t realize the kind of luck they’ve had in life and it irritates me
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I'm just always a bitch to everyone apparently and I'm told to go upstairs... certain people wonder why I stay in my room all the time
#el speaks#delete later#this is about my mother lol#I just can't be exhausted#she needs to learn that I just sound like a bitch all the time seriously I just talk like this (especially tired)#god I'm sorry I'm not always happy and feel comfortable talking to you or your boyfriend#he can't even talk to me face to face he always runs and hides behind you#“I asked her something and she was grumpy :(” like omg dude seriously? did I hurt your fucking feelings? oh gee I'm so fucking sorry#“things never go my way” -my mother#oh yeah? how do you think I feel? oh you don't#I try to care about you all the time but you never give me the same treatment#god you have no idea how much I wanna speak my mind fully#I try to fucking spend time with you even in small ways like going grocery shopping but that was still impossible#I can never get a word in about anything you're a broken record#“my job sucks and my boyfriend won't be here for my birthday :(”#sorry but shit happens sorry my presence isn't enough#I really do try... but man#also I think I got triggered or something? dogs get to me man#maybe I am just a bitch and if so? all well#wonder why
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dude my mom doesn't even let me identify as a pacifist without debating me on it how tf am I supposed to come out as queer lol
#i'm posting this on here because this is where I have the least amount of irls following me LOL#and the irls I have on here are the sweetest sjdjjdjd 💕💕#but I need to vent like what do you MEAN I SHOULDN'T SAY I'M A PACIFIST BECAUSE “WHAT IF YOU HAD NO OTHER CHOICE THAN TO HOLD A WEAPON”#LIKE#I feel like this goes under the same argument as “would you still refuse to eat if you were a vegan#and you've been STARVING for a month and the ONLY THING TO EAT WAS A STEAK??? WOULD YOU EAT IT THEN???“#like istg mother#if I somehow was in a life-or-death position where my only way of self defense or way to defend my loved ones#was to use a gun then I think I'd abandon a lot of the other morals and standards I have set for myself already eye-#AS LONG AS I HAVE THE CHOICE#I WOULD NEVER HOLD A REAL GUN OR FIREARM ???#I think wars and weapons and militairy are stupid af and think world leaders who use that sht are cowards and should learn how to use WORDS#which I KNOW is highly ironic considering what company I work for and don't think I don't cringe and feel bad every single time I remember#and I KNOW Sweden is one of the countries that produce the most weaponry etc in the world and I HATE IT#but alas#i do need a job#and I also can barely afford an apartment of my own much less move to another fkn COUNTRY#BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN “NAH I DON'T THINK YOU'RE A PACIFIST?” 😭😭😭 BRO I NEARLY CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT MANDATORY MILITARY SERVICE#AND I NEVER EVEN HAD TO TRY OUT BCS I HAD THE OPTION TO JUST SAY “no thanks” ?!?!?!?#WHAT DO YOU MEAN
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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#it’s weird because i always know before it’s even said#but it still hurts each time?#wild#hitting on some real tender spots that i thought i left behind years ago#it’s not. like. punch to the gut whole world seems wrong level.#it’s more like a short sharp stab in my heart the size of a pencil#but it’s still definitely not fun#especially with everything else going on#just. overwhelmingly bad timing for me personally which is wildly selfish#but i think i’m allowed to feel that way so long as i don’t let if affect the way i act#still very much trying not to pull away#and that’s kind of really fucking hard#because it’s so much easier to make the decision myself#but i’ve learned from my mistakes and i don’t plan on hurting anyone like that again if i can help it#i just. i’m tired. i’m tired of putting on a brave face for everyone and still not doing a great job at it.#my friend today said ‘you’re allowed to be grumpy’ before we hung out and that felt really good#and i found that i didn’t even have to put on a brave face around her or pretend to not be grumpy#i just wasn’t grumpy anymore#so that was definitely nice#there are good things in my life!#and i know this#it’s just hard when so much is changing at the same time and it definitely doesn’t feel#like it’s for the better#but: i have my friends and i’m going back to school#(both of which are actually also causes of stress rn but ALSO sources of joy and excitement)#anyway glad i can talk here#kinda want to cut my chest open and bleed out the painful bits#but talking is a decent alternative#personal
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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Ugh, I really want to finish editing this chapter so I can keep my posting streak going (9 weeks straight!), but my head is so full of work-related information that I am literally buzzing; vibrating at high speed.
Here's hoping that going to bed will help the storage space in my brain and I can work on it tomorrow T_T
#love my new job so far#like. wayyyy more than i've liked any other job i've had.#seems like a great position and a good place to work#however. a coworker is leaving and her position is not one that can be left empty#so in the interim until we find someone to hire... i'll be filling in XD#not what anyone was expecting lmao least of all me#i don't mind especially since they were very clear that i'd be compensated for it#BUT it does mean learning at least two entirely new software programs and about a dozen databases and processes#and that's just the tip of the iceberg; not even mentioning the paperwork side of things#... in two weeks XDD#i have no background/experience in anything remotely related to this position. so it's all brand new info.#at the same time i'm also learning the ropes of my own position#which is far more familiar stuff but still. every workplace does things differently so i still need to figure out the specifics for here#brain is. ON FIRE.#withoutwords
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